I Hate Daylight Saving Time!

I don’t know how you feel about this “daylight saving time” stuff, but for me it’s a nightmare that goes on for months.  I’m forced to leave my warm little cocoon a whole hour earlier than my body says I should be.  To add insult to injury, not only will I be physically suffering from this artificial jet lag, I will also be in a constant state of mental confusion as my mind keeps having an ongoing conversation: “What time is it REALLY?  The clock says 10:30 pm but my body says 9:30 pm and I’m not sleepy.  Or the clock says 6:30 am and I need to get up, but my body says 5:30 am and that I should keep sleeping.” 


According to the government, this little time warp thing is done for the purpose of saving energy.  Based on consumption figures for 1974 and 1975, the Department of Transportation says observing Daylight Saving Time in March and April saved the energy equivalent of 10,000 barrels of oil each day.  What they should have measured was the loss of energy from every citizen’s lack of sleep and overall confusion about what time it is in actual reality.  


Daylight Saving Time isn’t just an American phenomenon.  It has been going on in Europe for decades where they have added a little twist. In Europe, Daylight Saving Time is known as “Summertime”.  From early March to the end of October, the European governments try to ‘brainwash’ the citizenry into believing that it is perpetual summertime.  Can you imagine what would happen to me if I went skipping down the street in early March announcing to everyone that it was now officially “summertime”?  Those little guys in the white coats would have me gone in no time flat.  


I suppose I should be grateful that I am being required to get up earlier.  After all, that is supposed to be the most peaceful time of the day.  It is when we should be out wandering in our gardens, communing with nature and getting ourselves centered.  But you know what?  While I like the thought of being up in the early morning hours, I don’t like the actual act of getting up.  As far as I am concerned, the early bird can have the worm, I’ll wait for the coffee and toast.  


There is a common myth that people who work in the agricultural field like to get up early.  It’s simply not true and I can prove it.  In 1973, following the Arab Oil Embargo, Congress put most of the country on extended Daylight Saving Time for the purpose of saving more oil.  While the experiment worked, it was ultimately terminated in 1975 due to a large human outcry, coming from guess who — the farming states.  That’s right, farmers don’t like to get up at the crack of dawn and neither does this gardener.


No, it’s time to take action.  It is time to call in the our leaders, change-makers and to rally the masses.  A Biological Clock Manipulation Referendum is needed to repeal daylight saving time once and for all.  No more trying to remember if it is “spring forward and fall back” or “fall forward and spring back."  No more embarrassing moments caused by not knowing the true newly-changed time.  It’s time to just say no to daylight saving time.